learn to take care of ourselves first. We’re reminded of this each time we fly
in the airplane safety debriefs—secure your own oxygen mask on first. You can only
be of assistance to the person next to you if you’re not compromised and you certainly can't help anyone if you’re passed out.
people are not present enough or able to give us the kind of love and caring
that we may feel we need when we need it. Busy, distracted, and consumed by
bustling affairs and agendas, people are taking care of business, getting their
needs met, and keeping things afloat as best they can.
Brown, author of ‘The Presence Process’ says, we must first give to ourselves
the resonance of that which we most desire. What does that mean? It means that
whether you crave feeling treasured, feeling admired, or feeling valued, that
you must learn to give that to yourself first. Want to feel heard? Listen to
yourself. Want to feel special? Provide that experience for yourself. Marinate
in your own care and generosity.
nourish ourselves, we fill the well of our own wholeness. Once our own well is
topped up and we begin to operate more from wholeness we tend to be more
discerning about the people we interact with and let into our lives. When we
aren’t desperate to get our needs met we can afford to be choosy.
like making available to yourself an inner banquet of yummy things to feast on.
When you’ve got that going on you’re a lot less likely to jump at the sight of
crumbs being thrown your way.
truly beautiful thing about filling our well though is this: when we step out
of the ranks of the ravenous we begin to have ample love and compassion to
give. In our fullness, our interactions become more about giving than getting. We have our oxygen mask well-fastened and it creates the freedom to serve.
have it to give and when you start looking for it, you see cries for love all
around you. This world needs your care and kindness more than you can even
imagine. Give to yourself first so that you can give to others. True ‘getting’
is all about the giving anyways.
2014 Marie-Ève Bonneau