someone say today that one must be well, healthy, or whole to be able to do
their real work and make a contribution in the world. Hearing this comment, it dawned on me that I really
couldn’t disagree more. Let me explain…
was ‘fine’ I had something to offer for sure—I had wisdom to share and it was
still of value to my community and my offerings were well received. This wisdom, however, hadn’t undergone
the inevitable trial by fire; it hadn’t been ruthlessly tested by the often-excruciating
realities and paradoxes of life.
that I have experienced the underbelly of my existence first hand, I feel a more rooted compassion in my heart and authentic understanding
in my being. When I was ‘fine’, I was more likely to
judge those who struggled—I secretly thought, “Pull it together guys!” As a
follower of the law of attraction, I assumed those who struggled simply needed
to get their manifestation shit together.
that I have had to stew in my own soul’s challenges for days, months, and
years—my trial by fire—I’ve gained a greater sense of my true nature and of my true offering. I know that the experiences we have are not ‘who we
are’. I have found an openness of
spirit and an inner quality of non-judgment in what I encounter in those around
asked recently what my wish for myself and humanity was and I said: “For all
beings to heal and to remember their true nature.” I realized that I didn’t wish for the challenges to go
they are. The undergoing of living
with Lyme disease, has bared the sweetest fruits of all my life’s events and it
has been one of the true gifts of my life. This journey has carved a precious depth in me.
have befriended myself, learned to dance in the dark, and hold steady no matter
truly want this same ripening and healing for all beings—I essentially am entrusting
their soul with
whatever their unique challenge is.
I don’t wish the dark on you, but I do wish your soul the fruits of the dark—the gifts of the undergoing—and it’s probably not going to be pretty.
challenge is inevitable.
experience is required.
healing is perfect.
works in progress, each and every one of us. It’s not that we need to be healthy and whole to make a
contribution…no, not at all.
that the more real I can be with myself and with you about my fragmented,
beautiful, and fucked up journey to wholeness, the more I can support you in
embracing the dark corners and steep climbs of your own path.
this space nothing is too taboo to sit with or too much to show up for. There becomes a wide-open space for
embracing all that the human journey presents. We learn to ‘apply awareness’ to the joys and the sorrows,
to ‘be with’ the spectrum of dark to light. Yes, the more I lean into the cracks in my own wholeness,
the wounded spots, and deep hurts, the more I can hold space for you to be with your own beautiful
everything is ‘fine’ there is no need to do ‘the work’, nothing to surrender to
spirit, no incentive to find those last threads of inner resilience and that raw strength you draw on only when there is
nothing left to do. When I’m
‘fine’ I’m much quicker to judge your challenges—I’m holding it together so why
am in the sacred mess of my own process and am able to hold space for myself
being there for you is effortless by comparison and in fact, there is nothing
else to do—nothing else to be done.
I can’t image not being there for you, with you. Now that I’ve learned how to show up for me, I can’t imagine
not showing up for you. I too am
learning to love the mess, learning to love myself through life’s most
first hand that life takes us into detours that are nightmare worthy, as we find ourselves so far
from our envisioned route we can’t imagine that this is also part of the path and this, and this.
before we make our way to that sacred clearing where we remember our true
nature, integrate the fruits of our undergoing, and step even more into who we really are and find the space to hold
it all, there is a dark passage through shame, rage, and disbelief.
wish you an easy passage—no, instead I wish you the ripening that comes with
staying the course. I wish you the strength to hold
steady. I wish you the grace to
make it through to what the other side holds.
wish is that you learn to love the mess.