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takes is one conversation, one glance, one intention and the thread begins to
fray and then unravel. The course
begins to go sideways—like a shopping cart with a stubborn wheel that
requires all you can muster to steer it around a bend. Life as you know it has
feels all too familiar, especially that moment when the void rushes in.
you live through enough comings and goings you realize that you are the thing that stays. The very
presence that I am and that you are is what endures all the fluxes of this life
ride. I know that what is truly mine cannot be taken away. The fabric of my
existence is the canvas on which all other manifestations appear and disappear
in my life.
think I’d come to expect it but it still catches me off guard when I start to
lean too heavily on a ‘given’ and it feels like the rug is pulled out from
underneath me. Life
says: Wake up.
are being thrown into the fire with no mercy. This is
a call to Presence, a call to reconnect with Essence. This
too must be taken; this too must go into the fire of your transformation. Everything
is at stake. There
is nothing left to lose and only your freedom to be gained.
has the final say. I am in service to truth. I tune
into the feeling, the message; I heed the call—I often resist what comes
transmission gets louder when I choose not to listen and align. Truth
reaches a boiling point and integrity must be restored. There is no other way.
is a vast space that holds all the said and unsaid words between us and the
ropes on the suspension bridge have begun to fray. Today we are strangers, and
just yesterday we were star-crossed lovers with a shared destiny. The hours
feel long as the echo of this abrupt freeze in the stream reverberates through
me. Three blocks and a million
miles away—you are gone as though they’d taken you in the night to some place
that you can’t be reached. Just a
moment ago this was something. And just
like that…Your smell, your touch, your belly laughter are thrown like drops
back into the ocean where truth dissolves every last ounce of you into the
stream of life. Breath to breath, chest to chest, heartbeat to heartbeat.
Irrevocably things change in but an instant.
not connected to my essence events take on a life of their own. A track engages
and I am carried off on a reckless mind-based ride into my own insanity. When
the gremlins of mind and the conditioned mind loops take over, unless I
practice staying rooted in presence, I lose my footing all together. When I’ve
lost my inner ground—that intrinsic sense of wholeness and personal integrity—it
can get out of hand and inevitably does. I’m literally ‘not myself’ and until I
reconnect with who I truly am, I’m not showing up in the world in a balanced
way. When I find myself behaving
recklessly and living in a perpetual state of drama, I know that I’m not tuning
into the ground of my being—I’ve left my seat. Certain happenings are a call to
attention that let me know that I’ve strayed from the essence-way in which I
intend to show up in my relationships and on my path.
midst of my bizarre mind-trance of disconnection from self, I had a dance
emergency. It welled up from deep
inside my being and erupted into an unstoppable explosion of movement. I danced
a wild dance like I have not danced in quite some time. It had to be done, it did me undone: a
fierce, emotive, powerful dance that plugged me home to my self in a tear
streaming, breath-racing, full-bodied emancipation. This ritual of remembrance
was a return to self, an act of embodying grace; it was a full-blooded prayer I
undulated gratefully through my cells.
I came back to my senses.
dance got real deep in my bones, it reverberated my heart in my chest, loosened
my minds’ hold and like a tuning fork the dance struck the frequency of Love in
my being. And there it was. It had been there all along.
open and relax into myself I feel it through and through…
I am the love I seek and I know that
this love is